Most people think that I made EVERYTHING. The fact of the matter is, I didn't. What I did was give this universe a jump start and let you all have a go at it with that thing I created called "free will." I don't know everything that's going to happen because well, that's a myth. If I knew everything that was going to happen, what would be the point? I only know if you are going to end up on my team or if you're going to end up playing for THE DIABLOS. You all are better than cable. The earth is like the greatest reality television show ever. Let's start with that - Reality TV.
The Jersey Shore
I have heard many a great lamentations in regards to this show. People curse the sky and call upon my wrath to strike all members of this cast with all the plagues I can AT ONCE. I probably should but I'm not going to because they are all going to hell anyway.
Why I allow this to exist - This is an example on how not to live your life. Unless you want to tan in the firey flames of H-E-double hockey sticks and end up skin worse than Snookie, do the inverse of what this cast does. It's like Opposite Day for your soul.
Speaking of television, another thing thing that probably made you wonder if I exist was the cancellation of
Jersey Shore is an example of TV gone wrong. Yet, it is currently ruling the minds of the dumb. Arrested Development was TV done right but it got cancelled. That makes me feel like this:
You have to remember that this show was on Fox. I don't want to ruin anything for you, but this is basically what's going to happen to all of the head honchos over at Fox in the not so distant future:
That makes me feel like this:
If Lucille were about 50 years younger and doing that exact same thing, she would probably be somewhere in the vicinity of the next thing that makes you wonder if I exist:
You are probably wondering why I allow Justin Bieber to exist. Well, let me tell you. If you've ever read my book (The Bible), you'll know that in Revelation STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN. One of those things is that I send down one of my angels to UNLOCK THE ABYSS. This is Justin Bieber. There is a purpose to this.
When the End of Days draws near, Justin Bieber will have won an Academy Award. He will then hold a free concert to thank his fans near the sea. He will then receive the key to unlock the abyss (in the shape of a key to the city of Santa Monica or something - Satan and I haven't figured out the place where this is happening yet). He will then entrance his rabid teen fanbase that idolize him (I frown upon false idol worship) and march them into the sea like lemmings. He will unleash Satan and throw his masses into a lake of fire. Then all the fun will start.
Justin Bieber's concert will not be without controversy. Of course, there will be a great gaggle of people picketing but don't worry, I have plans for them as well. These protesters are infamous for misinterpreting my words. That brings me to my next thing that probably makes you scratch your head -
The Westboro Baptist Church
I don't hate anything. Well, except the WBC. I know what you're thinking (no really I do), "But God, you can't hate stuff because you're god and you love everything." Ok. I can understand that. But, let me provide you with the following scenario -
Let's say you made a really awesome book in which you left clues for how people should live their lives. The clues were left in story form so that people could easily understand them. Let's say these words and stories became misinterpreted over time. All of the sudden The WBC exists and twists these already misinterpreted words to spread hate, bigotry, intolerance, and every other word I can think of that is the inverse of this awesome message.
This is not ok.
Why I allow this to exist - When The Beebs opens the abyss, The WBC will be there, cheering for the end of the world. They will think that soon I will be picking them up on a magic cloud and whisking them up to heaven. This will not be happening. They will soon feel the might swarm effects of the plague of locusts. They will be devoured like so much crops. The end.
There are many things in this world that may make you ask, "Are you there God? It's me Margret." Yes I'm there, I'm just busy and probably hanging out with angels and stuff but fear not, most things have a plan in the greater scheme of things. Sometimes they don't but I blame those things on Satan. So should you.
That really is what Satan is like.
Do you have a question or anything that makes you wonder if I exist? I can probably explain it. Feel free to ask!